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Swimming in my SubconsciousI'm forever wondering what I did wrong. Your once kind and gentle words now cut through my soul like a blade of ice. I sit alone at the dark ocean floor waiting for you to pull me , miss me or kiss me but it never comes .So I swim through these dark waters of my mind and try to find my own light , my own hope .. But I am unsuccessful and back to the bottom I fall. When I reach the bottom I don't stop but keep going down through the sand and rock , my lower consciousness smiles as my memories flood me , better times , better days they all lull me into a calm high and I want to stay in this fuzzy bubble forever.Swimming in my Subconscious
by ~yumie-mizu-chan
Fallen onFallen oneFallen on
Thoughts lips, So red and full.
Thoughts eyes, Clear and Green.
Your smile, Lights up my world with just a flash.
Silky hair, Just reaches your slim, soft shoulders.
You’ve got me in the palm of your ivory hand so don’t let me slip away. This didn’t happen overnight I’ve always loved you I just didn’t know how much until the day you left.
Your laugh, Is as infectious as ever.
Your tears, Should only be caused by happiness.
Your fallen soul, Is so beautiful and f
by ~yumie-mizu-chan
So long and Good nightSo long and good night sweet one for I no loner need you, I no crave your touch or your kiss.I’v walked on and found peace with a demon of the night. You don’t not bring me joy, I see you now for what you are...Poison... Dark sludge filling my head with lies of the future and hope. You let me cry, you let me die without remorse you watched my soul break and blow away into the dark for ever to be lost. Poison you kissed my heart one to many times and I’ve broken the spell you witch of hate I don’t need your ghostly shell or your lies I have a fleeting life like a small flame always growing without your cold kisses.You’v drowneSo long and Good night
by ~yumie-mizu-chan
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- Current Residence: umm my house?
- Interests: movies,books,rock climbing,dancen in my undeer wear>,<,running and...stuff
- Favourite movie: RENT
- Favourite band or musician: Three Days grace
- Favourite genre of music: dance
- Favourite artist: Me!
- Favourite poet or writer: tamara peirce
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- Favourite game: zelda! all of them
- Favourite cartoon character: kermit the frog
- Personal Quote: if windex,a band aid and a tylonal cant fix it youv got a problum
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Your poetry seems to be alright. You may want to vary the subject matter more often. I know it's been varied later on, but some of your poems appear to be the same for a number of deviations, right early on.
I would recommend the use of spell checker , due to the fact that your spelling mistakes make it harder to read the poems and therefore understand them because, missing a couple of letters here and there and can cause a misinterpretation. Such as "cant breath". Breath is what you take in. Breathe would be the act of taking the air in. Changes the perspective.
Punctuation is a must. Spacing, periods, comma's, semi colons and the whole lot. Very important in poetry. Tells the reader when to stop, when to breath, even adds on it's own little tone.
Also. I'm going to assume that the poems aren't actually accurate anymore, well up to date. You might want to update you Author comments as well.
But I will stressed Spell Check. Changes the whole poem.
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Human subtlety...will never devise an invention more beautiful, more simple or more direct than does nature, because in her inventions nothing is lacking, and nothing is superfluous
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98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this into your comment signature. I DRAW DRAGONS!
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`Carpe Diem
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`Carpe Diem
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
Your boob are soft like pillows! ^_^
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
uh... that's a hard one... ooh! the macaraina! don't ask...
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
lime! just for the color...
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
but their comfy!
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
to tell you the truth i can hardly remember anything from middle school so it would have to be your first day in the Auditorium I believe you were on the stage socializing wile I was sitting in my corner
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
a puppy!
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you...
what the hell compelled you to date the bard?
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Darkness within the details. Gore out in the open. Read between the lines and see the horror unfold.
[link]
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Kiss me , Kill me~Or loving you would be to easy
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Darkness within the details. Gore out in the open. Read between the lines and see the horror unfold.
[link]
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Kiss me , Kill me~Or loving you would be to easy
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Darkness within the details. Gore out in the open. Read between the lines and see the horror unfold.
[link]
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